It was probably about 1959 and I was ten years old when I
first heard the term “shirt-tail relative”.
I was trying to figure out why Jo O’Meara and her daughter, Ginny, were
invited to almost all of our family holiday celebrations. I asked my grandmother exactly who the O’Meara
family was. At first she told me that
they were old family friends, but as I questioned her, she said that they were “shirt-tail
relatives" to my grandfather, and that the relationship went way back to Ireland and no
one really knew what the relationship was.
That was interesting, but that was the extent of the conversation.
Flash forward to about 1994 when I began to get interested
in genealogy. Sadly, all of my older
relatives on my maternal side had already passed away. Such a hard lesson to learn…find out all you
can from your family while they are still here!
Anyway, I could not find a connection to the O’Meara
family. I knew that Jo O’Meara had been
my great-grandmother’s best-friend. And
Ginny O’Meara had been close friends with my grandfather, his sister, and his
first cousin. I had pictures of all of
them together throughout the years. My
great-grandfather’s parents had died when he was a young child and he was
raised by his older sister. It was her
daughter who was so close to Ginny O’Meara.
So it seemed that the connection was somehow through my Murphy family
(my great-grandfather was Edward R. Murphy).
Researching my Murphy family, I learned that my great-great-great
grandmother was Alice Reed Murphy. As I
continued to research the family, I kept coming across the name “Peter Reed”
associated with my Murphy relatives. I also was finding connections with both
my Murphy families and the Peter Reed family with the Nicholas Reed Heneberry
family in Peoria. And I learned that Nicholas Reed Heneberry’s
mother was a Reed.
I did fairly
extensive research on the Peter Reed family, but did not find a proven
connection to my Murphy family, other than Peter Reed being godfather to
different Murphy members, etc. And Peter
Reed was from County
Kilkenny, which is where
my Murphy family originated. As was the Nicholas Heneberry family.
I had found census readings on Peter Reed and learned that he
had ten children. (One of them had
married my great-great grandmother’s brother.)
Peter Reed’s oldest child, Margaret “Maggie” Reed married David Charles
Ryan in 1878. They had ten children.
It wasn’t until I returned to my interest in learning who Jo
O’Meara was that I thought to send for her death certificate. Oh, my.
Her parents were David C. and Margaret Reed Ryan. Peter Reed was Jo O’Meara’s grandfather.
Have I made absolute proof of the relationship between my
Murphy family and the Peter Reed family?
Nope. But the connections seem
too close to be just coincidence. My
best speculation at this point based on dates of birth is that Alice Reed’s
father was brother to Nicholas Heneberry’s mother. (Alice born
about 1801, Nicholas born 1807).
Peter Reed was born in 1832. My
best guess there is that his father was Alice Reed’s brother.
So, if you are still with me here…that would mean that
Johanna Ryan O’Meara was my great-grandfather’s second cousin once removed.
Wow! Talk about strong,
long-lasting connections through time and space. The families came to Peoria,
Illinois from Ireland around 1850, and up until
Ginny O’Meara’s death in 1978, the families remained close. That gives me a rather nice warm feeling! It also makes me wonder if Ginny O'Meara had married and had children, would the close connection have continued? I like to think that it would have.
Below are a couple of definitions that I found for “Shirt-tail
relatives”:
very distant relative by marriage or a family friend that one claims with honorary status the same as a close, well liked relative
A shirttail relative is someone who is either a relative by marriage, distantly related (say, a third cousin), or a family friend who is an honourary “relative”.
Well, by the time I got interested in finding out about
these families, I guess they fit the definition of shirt-tail relatives. But they sure didn’t back in the 1800’s!!!