Shirt-tail Relatives

It was probably about 1959 and I was ten years old when I first heard the term “shirt-tail relative”.I was trying to figure out why Jo O’Meara and her daughter, Ginny, were invited to almost all of our family holiday celebrations. I asked my grandmother exactly who the O’Meara family was.At first she told me that they were old family friends, but as I questioned her, she said that they were “shirt-tail relatives" to my grandfather and that the relationship went way back to Ireland and no one really knew what the relationship was. That was interesting, but that was the extent of the conversation. 

 Flash forward to about 1994 when I began to get interested in genealogy. Sadly, all of my older relatives on my maternal side had already passed away. Such a hard lesson to learn…find out all you can from your family while they are still here! Anyway, I could not find a connection to the O’Meara family. I knew that Jo O’Meara had been my great-grandmother’s (Kitty Murphy) best friend. Ginny O’Meara had been close friends with my grandfather, his sister, and his first cousin. I had pictures of all of them together throughout the years. My great-grandfather’s parents had died when he was a young child and he was raised by his older sister. It was her daughter who was so close to Ginny O’Meara. So it seemed that the connection was somehow through my Murphy family (my great-grandfather was Edward R. Murphy).

                                           Picture of Kitty Murphy and Johanna Ryan OMeara

                                                                            1946

 Researching my Murphy family, I learned that my great-great-great grandmother was Alice Reed Murphy. As I continued to research the family, I kept coming across the name “Peter Reed” associated with my Murphy relatives. I also was finding connections with both my Murphy family and the Peter Reed family with the Nicholas Reed Heneberry family in Peoria, Illinois. And I learned that Nicholas Reed Heneberry’s mother was a Reed. I did fairly extensive research on the Peter Reed family but did not find a proven connection to my Murphy family, other than Peter Reed being godfather to different Murphy members, etc. And Peter Reed was from County Kilkenny, which is where my Murphy family originated. As had the Nicholas Heneberry family. 

I had found census readings on Peter Reed and learned that he had ten children. (One of them had married my great-great-grandmother’s brother.) Peter Reed’s oldest child, Margaret “Maggie” Reed married David Charles Ryan in 1878. They had ten children. It wasn’t until I returned to my interest in learning who Jo O’Meara was that I thought to send for her death certificate. Oh, my. Her parents were David C. and Margaret Reed Ryan. Peter Reed was Jo O’Meara’s grandfather.

 Have I made absolute proof of the relationship between my Murphy family and the Peter Reed family? Nope. But the connections seem too close to be just coincidence. My best speculation at this point based on dates of birth is that Alice Reed’s father was brother to Nicholas Heneberry’s mother. (Alice born about 1801, Nicholas born 1807). Peter Reed was born in 1832. My best guess there is that his father was Alice Reed’s brother. So, if you are still with me here…that would mean that Johanna Ryan O’Meara was my great-grandfather’s second cousin once removed. Wow! Talk about strong, long-lasting connections through time and space. The families came to Peoria, Illinois from Ireland around 1850, and up until Ginny O’Meara died in 1978, the families remained close. That gives me a rather nice warm feeling! 

It also makes me wonder if Ginny O'Meara had married and had children, would the close connection have continued? I like to think that it would have. Below are a couple of definitions that I found for “Shirt-tail relatives”: http://wordmama.com/content/added-def.asp?word=shirttail+relative: very distant relative by marriage or a family friend that one claims with honorary status the same as a close, well-liked relative. And from http://funwithenglishblog.com/2012/01/shirttail-relative/ A shirttail relative is someone who is either a relative by marriage, distantly related (say, a third cousin), or a family friend who is an honourary “relative”. 

 Well, by the time I got interested in finding out about these families, I guess they fit the definition of shirt-tail relatives. But they sure didn’t back in the 1800’s!!!

Trying to Solve Family Mysteries

Some of the biggest brick-wall-type difficulties I have run into in my fifteen years of genealogical searching are those of children either adopted or informally placed with families. 

 The first case that I ran into was that of my grandfather’s “sister”. The family story was that she was adopted by Moses and Lydia Bullard Adamson, my great-grandparents. What I found odd, however, was that Moses and Lydia were in their late 60s when they “adopted” Edna. They had already had twelve children. And the Civil War had effectively comprised Moses’ ability to earn a living. He was incapacitated both physically and mentally ever since he returned from his War service. He never worked upon his return. Why would this family adopt an infant given these circumstances? 

 Edna was born in 1897 and was living with Moses and Lydia’s family in the 1900 census. She was listed as age two. Edna lived until 1982 and died at the age of eighty-five. She had married and had one child. Edna was always considered to be one of my grandfather’s sisters and the family was very close to her She even seemed to look and act like the other family members. Upon Edna’s death, it was found that she had not been adopted formally and her son found some documentation that indicated that her real name had been Edna Norris. This meant nothing to the family and it wasn’t until ten years later, when I became interested (a nice word for obsessed) with genealogy that the mystery was possibly resolved. 

By that time, all of Edna’s adopted family had died, leaving no siblings to answer the question of who Edna really was. But almost one hundred years after Edna’s birth, I may have found the answer. What I learned was that Mary Etta Bullard, one of Lydia’s first cousins, had been married to Oliver Norris. Mary and Oliver had a daughter, Elmira Norris, born in 1879. My speculation is that Elmira became pregnant, had the baby, and Lydia Bullard Adamson agreed to take the infant in. In the 1900 census, Elmira Norris is listed, as age twenty, with her mother and step-father in the same area as Moses and Lydia. It appears that perhaps Lydia raised her first cousin’s granddaughter. 

 Shortly after I had first posted this blog post I received a response that the person who responded knew who Edna’s mother was. I was quite excited and responded back, but sadly I never heard from the person again. 

 Two other cases involve people who are (probably) still living and who would be around sixty years old. But people aren’t talking. And some of the involved persons are not living. One involves a child given up for adoption; the other appears to be a case of the child not being raised by the mother. All of these types of cases take extreme patience. In my experience, nothing is ever a secret. There are always people who have information and someday I hope to solve the last two cases that have plagued me!

Using Ancestry.com Hints

I hope that everyone is using Ancestry.com family trees. I know that some people are not fans of ancestry.com, but I have had such good luck with contacts made there. I am a huge fan of the ancestry hints that are given. I have located so many missing census records through their "hints". If you haven't tried it yet, when you are on the home page of Ancestry.com look about halfway down the page to where it says "About this tree", then "View People with Hints". It lists all the people in your database that they have located records for. It is incredibly helpful!  Of course, it is necessary to research the hints to be sure they are accurate and are about your ancestors! Good luck!